By Gretchen Rubin
I've discovered an almost uncannily effective strategy to keep myself from going into downward spirals of resentment, blame, and self-accusation -- when, for instance, I find myself brooding over thoughts like, "I'm not getting enough work done" or "My daughters don't get along very well."
When I realize I'm having thoughts like this (and I'll admit, just realizing that I'm having this kind of thought is a challenge in itself), I "make the positive argument."
As a consequence of a psychological phenomenon that might be called “argumentative reasoning,” we’re very skillful at arguing a particular case. When we take a position, we look for evidence to support it, and we find reasons that prove our point, and then we stop, satisfied. This mental process gives us the illusion... More...
